fertility anxiety

[heweydewey410]

My wife and I have been trying for nearly 18 months to get pregnant and I am terrified that we will never will. My wife has PCOS and we are now seeing our 2nd fertility specialist (the 1st was useless and judgmental). My semen has been tested 3 times (twice last year and once this year) and the results have been almost the same every time. My count and motility are well within the normal ranges, but my abnormal forms are significantly higher than normal. For reference, my lab measures abnormal forms on a scale between 0 - 18, with higher scores being better than lower. Normal is considered 4 or greater. My first two tests were 3 and my most recent test was 2.

Since only this one level is outside of normal, I figure my chances of getting my wife pregnant are probably pretty good. But my anxiety is still through the roof. I am diabetic (type 2) and will turn 40 this year and I constantly ask myself if I will even be physically capable of raising a child should we be lucky enough to eventually get pregnant? I can't seem to shake the terrifying feeling that my window to become a father is rapidly running out. Meanwhile, two of the boys that I used to babysit when I was a teenager are both fathers of 2 and a third boy is expecting his first child this year. Both of my best friends in my teens are fathers as well.

Am I over-reacting?