Balance

[mrsh2105]

Hi,

I am having increased anxiety around my daughters life threatening food allergies. Fear of what might happen is controlling me and I'm finding the balance of this and giving her a full life difficult to manage. It is spilling over into other areas of my life as I am on edge, distracted, grouchy. Any advice on this please? It isn't irrational fear is it, it's a very real fear but it's out of control!

[Mind]

Hi mrsh2105,

I'm sorry to hear your daughter struggles with serious food allergies, and that it's having such an impact on your lives. It sounds like a very challenging situation to manage, and it's understandable that you're experiencing stress and anxiety.

You can always talk to your GP about any anxiety you're finding is impacting on your life. They can offer you support and treatment to help you manage your feelings of anxiety. This can include talking treatments (like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)), self-help resources or medication. Your doctor can talk through these options with you and help you decide what you think might be most useful.

You might also find it helpful to contact some other organisations to see what sort of support they offer. Anxiety UK and No Panic http://www.nopanic.org.uk/ have lots of help and guidance for people struggling with anxiety. Allergy UK https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/ supports people with all kinds of allergies, and they have lots of information specifically for parents of children with allergies. They also have a helpline you can contact on 01322 619898 9-5 Monday to Friday.

There are also lots of things you can do to look after yourself and cope with your anxiety. Our pages on anxiety have lots more information about what you can do yourself, different treatment options available, and further helpful resources. You can take a look here: http://mind.org.uk/information-support/ ... hzlf25bjiQ

I hope that's helpful. It's really understandable that you're having a difficult time right now, but there's lots of support out there. I hope things start feeling more manageable for you soon.

Take care.

[Wendy Green]

Hi,

Any parent of a child with serious food allergies would feel very anxious - especially at first when you're having to get to grips with the diagnosis and its implications. You say that fear of what might happen is controlling you - I think learning as much as possible about the reality of your daughter's condition and how to manage it will help you to take control of the situation instead of your fears controlling you. If you haven't already, you could start by reading the information on child allergies on the Allergy UK website https://www.allergyuk.org/allergy-in-ch ... n-children and childhood food allergies https://www.allergyuk.org/childhood-foo ... od-allergy. You may also find this book useful - Food Allergy & Your Child: A Practical Guide for Parents by Alice Willitts and Deborah Carter - http://amzn.to/1VSpe2Q. As the previous post by Mind states, you can also ring Allergy UK's Helpline on 01322 619898.

I also think you should discuss your anxieties with your GP and/or your daughter's allergy specialist - they should be able to address your concerns and offer some reassurance regarding the management of your daughter's food allergies. The more knowledge you have about your daughter's condition and how to manage it, the more confident and in control you'll feel.

Also, do you have a partner or family member who can help and support you with the care of your daughter? You do need to take good care of yourself as well as your daughter - if you're feeling below par it will affect your ability to cope with her condition and give her the full life you want to give her. Make sure you eat well, take regular exercise and make time to do the things you enjoy - it isn't being selfish - it's essential for your own - and your daughter's wellbeing.

I hope things get easier for you as time goes on.

[Dr Helen Webberley]

Hello, medical problems such as your daughter's can be terrifying, especially for the parents. The thought of what could happen is sometimes just too much. However, we need to look out for what is a normal fear and what has got a bit out of hand. If 'normal' anxiety has escalated then you need to have a look at why. Sometimes underlying depression can make this worse so it would be worth having a chat to your GP to make sure that is not the case. Also, bad experiences in your younger years can influence how you react in later years, and addressing these issues can help you cope better in today's world. Counselling, CBT, hypnotherapy can all be useful. I hope this helps, and best wishes for your daughter. Dr Webberley